how to stay married

beats the hell out of me!

My 16th wedding anniversary was last week. All in, my husband and I have lived together as romantic partners for more than 20 years. We were friends for four years before that. I’ve known this man for half my damn life and I still mostly like his company, which feels like a feat, if not a full-on coup. As more and more middle-aged pals are in the process of divorce, considering divorce or behaving in a way that suggests “I’m afraid to say it, but MAN ALIVE, I wish to be divorced,” I thought it might be nice to write a little mid-life counterpoint, a breezy essay on “how to stay married.” However, when I sat down to write it, I realized I know fuck all about staying married. I don’t even know if most people should stay married, including, at times, me.