i found the perfect pair of jeans

and 8 other ways i'm getting through...everything

As anyone who listens to Everything Is Fine with any frequency knows, Kim and I never stop bitching about how much we currently hate pants, how designers don’t make hard pants to fit middle-aged women’s bodies, how they instead expect us to live inside digging/smooshing/suffocating sartorial torture devices. We’ve complained about this topic so much, a listener once suggested we call the show the “Pants” podcast. Or maybe I did that. Who knows.

I’ve somewhat skirted (lol) the pants issue by avoiding buttons and zippers altogether or by choosing “work” trousers with, if not full elastic, at least a bunch of give in the waist. To that end, I own at least five pairs of Big Bud Press pants in various lengths and styles, a choice I am quite sure must be clownish and un-grownup/non-sophisticated, since whenever I give this style recommendation, no one else takes it. Still, circus costume or no, these are the best comfortable-slacks-that-don’t-make-me-look-like a-total-grandma solution I’ve found.

But jeans — and not just any jeans; actual non-stabbing, non-dorky jeans that look cute and won’t cause crushing stomach compression or show my ass crack — have eluded me for years. That is until now.