non-ugly summer shoes for when your feet are f*cked

truly can’t believe the deeply uncool things i want to talk about!

The other day I was standing in our kitchen casually talking to (or, more accurately at) my husband about bread.

Did you notice I got new bread?

Do you like the bread?

Did you see I got both whole wheat and sour dough bread?

Can you believe that two loaves of these bakery breads are cheaper than a loaf of Dave’s bread?

From the other room, my kid, eavesdropping on what can only be described as a scintillating conversation, called out: “The bread is FINE, Mom! Can we PLEASE stop talking about the bread?”

There are few things more humbling than having a bright young person engaged in bright young things own you for being an obsessive middle-aged bore, a situation that now happens more often than I’d like to admit.

I can’t believe the deeply uncool things I want to talk about these days; am legitimately shaken by the amount of time I spend thinking about re-seasoning a cast iron pan, the satisfaction I get over a finding good doorstopper or in discovering, like I have over the past weeks, non-ugly shoes that are not Dad Hokas or Menopause Birks and are comfortable enough to walk around in all day.

This last task is hard enough in the winter, but it’s nearly impossible in the warmer temps when trendy shoes I used to favor seem to be built out of cardboard and vibes. I keep seeing fashion people my age recommending “it” sandals that flare up my arch-dropping hammer-toe plantar fasciitis before I even hover over “click to buy.” (Let’s be honest: I’m losing whatever cool I have left by merely typing the words plantar fasciitis. GenX olds should create a geriatric code language so we never have to utter things like “bunions” and “shingles” again.)

But back to the shoes. I’m not sure how it happened — and certainly I’d be able to retire before age 91 if this violent personal-aesthetic caprice was not the case — but earlier this year, I sadly turned on my Arizona Eva Birkenstocks the way you would a lover who satisfied you yesterday but today smells/looks the same, only now that smell/look is somehow revolting and bad.

Since this unfortunate breakup, I’ve been on the hunt for something new and equally as comfortable.

And I’ve kind of found it?