Face of a soft handshake? Swagger of a bandaid? Brilliant - thank you for that! And I couldn’t agree more - that “doc” was a desperate plea for friends, more than anything. I came to one of your readings and you were great. You’re at the top of your game! Congrats on all your success!
"Sir, you’re a 60+ man with the swagger of a bandaid" - DUDE.... I'll be laughing all day off of that one. You are so funny and have such a good writing style. I really loved your book - I got the audio, and your voice is sexy so it was a pleasure. I'm not an ambition monster but so many parts of your story resinated with me and I'll be thinking about that book for a while. Oh, and welcome home, neighbor.
I'm married to an actor. He works a lot. He's not famous but you have seen him (had his own TV show twice, worked with Scorcese 3x and just a ton of stuff). There are certain actors of his "type" that work more consistently on pretty high profile movies/TV shows, and of course, it gets under his skin that it's not him bringing down those major bucks. He sees them in productions and says to me "why wasn't I cast in that part" - "I don't know, baby.... they like this guy". I believe that it is the "actors' way" to whine that they are not as big as "they would be had _____ not happened". I remind him that we live a great life. Have a beautiful home and loving, supporting friends. We travel, have no finance problems, I have an art studio..... shit is good, but he should have been A STAR! Me, I'm so happy and grateful for our good fortune (I was a writer but after brain surgery - which stole my memory and ability to read big chunks of copy - I switched to art). I have been close to death... really close, in fact a few times I thought I was "a gonner" but surviving that put everything in the right perspective.
And now you got me wanting to watch that documentary.
"Instead, I told them about the events for Ambition Monster, how genuinely happy I’d been, how delighted to meet new people and catch up with old friends. How in every room I was in, I’d felt profoundly loved. How the whole thing felt like a success."
I profoundly love everything you have written here — God you’re an amazing writer. And congratulations on your wonderful book, my friend. I profoundly loved it, too. ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for putting your finger on what was so annoying about Brats ("swagger of a bandaid" is one of my favorite things I've ever read). And as several people have pointed out, he was barely mentioned in the NY Magazine article, which featured Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe, and Emiliio Estevez out on the town without him (the real root of his shame: feeling left out?)
And thank you for this - "Sometimes, when we stop longing for what we didn’t get, we see what we have more clearly." You're a fantastic writer and Ambition Monster has moved so many people (including me). What a wondeful achievement: I hope it's something you can really feel.
Omg yes. I screamed at the screen throughout BRATS. It could have been so much more interesting—an actual look back at what that time was like for them, for example—instead of this "milky friend's" (ha!) neuroses. Although, as you point out, maybe that's the value in the project—being able to see just how we get in our heads with this ridiculous shit and miss out on much of life in the process. McCarthy may have even been more "successful" had he not been so bitter about that one article... a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Afterward, I went back and rewatched ST ELMO'S FIRE, and McCarthy is still my favorite part of that mostly bad movie (his sardonic, lovelorn character has most of the good lines). But after BRATS, my childhood crush is over. I'm Team Ducky for sure.
Striving hurts t because it takes us out of the here-and-now, and sends out mind spinning, and yet the habit to strive runs deep over here, as if it keeps the mind-body-system alive. I really loved reading this, thank you. Also watched Brats, my husband and I yelling at the TV, "What a bunch of whiners!" (mainly McCarthy). But quite entertained by how Rob Lowe saw it so differently from A.M., such that by the end of the show A.M.'s tail had a bit more wag in it. Face like a soft handshake: so on the nail. Look forward to reading your book!
On top of that, McCarthy's been able to publish a few books (novels and memoirs) in his later career stage. I haven't read them, so can't comment on their worth, but they've gotten good reviews on Amazon. He may have been talented enough to have gotten an agent and publishing deals anyway, but I'm very sure that his acting fame didn't hurt.
Just finished your book yesterday and it was amazing. You should be very very proud. I couldn’t put it down. I’m so delighted for you to have found healing and be experiencing such joy in your life on the regular. Well done.
Never did like Andrew M. and your description of him is hilarious and spot on. Loved Ambition Monster and have recommended it far & wide. Keep being awesome 😊
You nailed Brats. I enjoyed watching it as it was a trip down memory lane but outside of that, had a similar reaction and feeling as you and the other replies. Love your writing and I'm enjoying your book (I'm a slow reader)-thank you!
I’m glad now I didn’t watch the “Brats” documentary, which sounds more like a Brat Pack Party of One whinefest! Thanks for describing Mr. Bandaid, whom I’ve always thought of as a juvenile Harrison Ford. You don’t know what you’ve had until you lose it! If he had enough money to produce this documentary, then he must be doing ok! On a more cheerful note, I just finished and enjoyed your book! I need to think up a review that doesn’t sound like the other ones. Your book is definitely food for thought!
Ah man, publishing! I call it a psychological hellscape because it's easy for it to feel so terrible, no matter how great it is. It took me a long time to recover from my last rodeo. I'm glad you shook off all the terrible feelings and embraced what really matters: your great book and the people who love it, and you.
It's hard to say what I love most about this piece (I mean, ...the swagger of a bandaid!!), but ultimately, I think it's the idea that when we stop focusing on what we don't have, we can see all that we do. It's a reframe that just makes life so much better. You are such a talented writer, and a warm soul- loved meeting you at The Strand for your NYC launch, and devoured the book immediately thereafter. Have since recommended far and wide! Congrats on all! Now I hope you can take a minute to get some much deserved rest...
Face of a soft handshake? Swagger of a bandaid? Brilliant - thank you for that! And I couldn’t agree more - that “doc” was a desperate plea for friends, more than anything. I came to one of your readings and you were great. You’re at the top of your game! Congrats on all your success!
Absolutely genius
"Sir, you’re a 60+ man with the swagger of a bandaid" - DUDE.... I'll be laughing all day off of that one. You are so funny and have such a good writing style. I really loved your book - I got the audio, and your voice is sexy so it was a pleasure. I'm not an ambition monster but so many parts of your story resinated with me and I'll be thinking about that book for a while. Oh, and welcome home, neighbor.
I'm married to an actor. He works a lot. He's not famous but you have seen him (had his own TV show twice, worked with Scorcese 3x and just a ton of stuff). There are certain actors of his "type" that work more consistently on pretty high profile movies/TV shows, and of course, it gets under his skin that it's not him bringing down those major bucks. He sees them in productions and says to me "why wasn't I cast in that part" - "I don't know, baby.... they like this guy". I believe that it is the "actors' way" to whine that they are not as big as "they would be had _____ not happened". I remind him that we live a great life. Have a beautiful home and loving, supporting friends. We travel, have no finance problems, I have an art studio..... shit is good, but he should have been A STAR! Me, I'm so happy and grateful for our good fortune (I was a writer but after brain surgery - which stole my memory and ability to read big chunks of copy - I switched to art). I have been close to death... really close, in fact a few times I thought I was "a gonner" but surviving that put everything in the right perspective.
And now you got me wanting to watch that documentary.
Sorry, that was longer than I planned.
"Instead, I told them about the events for Ambition Monster, how genuinely happy I’d been, how delighted to meet new people and catch up with old friends. How in every room I was in, I’d felt profoundly loved. How the whole thing felt like a success."
What a wonderful attitude, and great advice.
I profoundly love everything you have written here — God you’re an amazing writer. And congratulations on your wonderful book, my friend. I profoundly loved it, too. ❤️❤️❤️
ahhh Karen! i adore you xo
Thanks for putting your finger on what was so annoying about Brats ("swagger of a bandaid" is one of my favorite things I've ever read). And as several people have pointed out, he was barely mentioned in the NY Magazine article, which featured Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe, and Emiliio Estevez out on the town without him (the real root of his shame: feeling left out?)
And thank you for this - "Sometimes, when we stop longing for what we didn’t get, we see what we have more clearly." You're a fantastic writer and Ambition Monster has moved so many people (including me). What a wondeful achievement: I hope it's something you can really feel.
Omg yes. I screamed at the screen throughout BRATS. It could have been so much more interesting—an actual look back at what that time was like for them, for example—instead of this "milky friend's" (ha!) neuroses. Although, as you point out, maybe that's the value in the project—being able to see just how we get in our heads with this ridiculous shit and miss out on much of life in the process. McCarthy may have even been more "successful" had he not been so bitter about that one article... a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Afterward, I went back and rewatched ST ELMO'S FIRE, and McCarthy is still my favorite part of that mostly bad movie (his sardonic, lovelorn character has most of the good lines). But after BRATS, my childhood crush is over. I'm Team Ducky for sure.
Yes to all of this!! “Face of a soft handshake” - LOL. Thank you for your perceptions and can’t wait to get started on Ambition Monster.
Striving hurts t because it takes us out of the here-and-now, and sends out mind spinning, and yet the habit to strive runs deep over here, as if it keeps the mind-body-system alive. I really loved reading this, thank you. Also watched Brats, my husband and I yelling at the TV, "What a bunch of whiners!" (mainly McCarthy). But quite entertained by how Rob Lowe saw it so differently from A.M., such that by the end of the show A.M.'s tail had a bit more wag in it. Face like a soft handshake: so on the nail. Look forward to reading your book!
On top of that, McCarthy's been able to publish a few books (novels and memoirs) in his later career stage. I haven't read them, so can't comment on their worth, but they've gotten good reviews on Amazon. He may have been talented enough to have gotten an agent and publishing deals anyway, but I'm very sure that his acting fame didn't hurt.
Just finished your book yesterday and it was amazing. You should be very very proud. I couldn’t put it down. I’m so delighted for you to have found healing and be experiencing such joy in your life on the regular. Well done.
thank you!
The face of a handshake and swagger of a bandaid are the laughs I really needed today. THANK YOU! I can't wait to read your book.
Never did like Andrew M. and your description of him is hilarious and spot on. Loved Ambition Monster and have recommended it far & wide. Keep being awesome 😊
You nailed Brats. I enjoyed watching it as it was a trip down memory lane but outside of that, had a similar reaction and feeling as you and the other replies. Love your writing and I'm enjoying your book (I'm a slow reader)-thank you!
I’m glad now I didn’t watch the “Brats” documentary, which sounds more like a Brat Pack Party of One whinefest! Thanks for describing Mr. Bandaid, whom I’ve always thought of as a juvenile Harrison Ford. You don’t know what you’ve had until you lose it! If he had enough money to produce this documentary, then he must be doing ok! On a more cheerful note, I just finished and enjoyed your book! I need to think up a review that doesn’t sound like the other ones. Your book is definitely food for thought!
Ah man, publishing! I call it a psychological hellscape because it's easy for it to feel so terrible, no matter how great it is. It took me a long time to recover from my last rodeo. I'm glad you shook off all the terrible feelings and embraced what really matters: your great book and the people who love it, and you.
you are my hero about all this stuff so this means a lot!
It's hard to say what I love most about this piece (I mean, ...the swagger of a bandaid!!), but ultimately, I think it's the idea that when we stop focusing on what we don't have, we can see all that we do. It's a reframe that just makes life so much better. You are such a talented writer, and a warm soul- loved meeting you at The Strand for your NYC launch, and devoured the book immediately thereafter. Have since recommended far and wide! Congrats on all! Now I hope you can take a minute to get some much deserved rest...