The chickens! The causal cruelty! My hope is that a housekeeper or other staff member took them home and they were laying eggs for kinder people. His businesses failing was Chicken Karma.
Yes! This is something I grapple with a lot; thank you for putting it into words - being special vs being happy. At 50, I have a solid job that pays well, and I work with people who like and respect me. There are stressful days, but generally I am able to take time off without everything falling apart. Overall, it affords me a very happy lifestyle. But this job is not really special, not in the way my 22 year old self set out to be. I sometimes worry that I settled, I worry about what happened to all of my ambition. But this worry is so silly, because I’m happy! When I look at it this way, I don’t need to be special anymore.
I think you can apply every thing you say here to personal relationships as well. I recently entered into a new friendship with someone and woke up one morning with the realization that I was putting way more effort into the friendship because I wanted to get a response from this person I admired—were my emails funny enough, smart enough, engaging enough to elicit a response. When a response was forthcoming I was elated when I didn’t receive a response I thought I needed to try harder. So I stopped. I stopped emailing. It took maybe 24 hours for me to “get over” my “failure” with this burgeoning friendship. I didn’t need that particular ambition monster and I’m much happier for letting it go.
FANTASTIC--walking away from being "special"--when everyone looks to you for answers--when you have ALL the power of/for decision-making--can be so difficult--not to mention leaving the "special paycheck" behind...For me, making the decision to leave took courage--and a realization that if I wanted to be "happy," I had no choice but to walk away. But boy...once you get on the other side? It's magic.
I was really struck by that article too. I’m myself more happy and less special than ever and it’s 96% wonderful. But then there’s the 4% (likely more. I’m trying to impress here) which is my ego knocking on the window outside yelling “what about me!” And telling herself stories of the glory days of book tours and New Yorker Profiles. Her eyes are puffy and her lipstick is a mess and I try and just say “there there…Have some soup and a rest”. And let her in to sleep on the sofa. Then I get on with my life that I love.
This hits right on time. I'm in this odd place where I kind of want to try something new, but I also just want to try new things. Many new things. It's hard to pick a path even for a little while.
Such a spot-on topic for this week and life. Ironically, after reading Jenn’s book, I was reading the book ‘Quit’ by Annie Duke and it really dives into the subject of when to walk away.
The chickens! The causal cruelty! My hope is that a housekeeper or other staff member took them home and they were laying eggs for kinder people. His businesses failing was Chicken Karma.
Yes! This is something I grapple with a lot; thank you for putting it into words - being special vs being happy. At 50, I have a solid job that pays well, and I work with people who like and respect me. There are stressful days, but generally I am able to take time off without everything falling apart. Overall, it affords me a very happy lifestyle. But this job is not really special, not in the way my 22 year old self set out to be. I sometimes worry that I settled, I worry about what happened to all of my ambition. But this worry is so silly, because I’m happy! When I look at it this way, I don’t need to be special anymore.
I think you can apply every thing you say here to personal relationships as well. I recently entered into a new friendship with someone and woke up one morning with the realization that I was putting way more effort into the friendship because I wanted to get a response from this person I admired—were my emails funny enough, smart enough, engaging enough to elicit a response. When a response was forthcoming I was elated when I didn’t receive a response I thought I needed to try harder. So I stopped. I stopped emailing. It took maybe 24 hours for me to “get over” my “failure” with this burgeoning friendship. I didn’t need that particular ambition monster and I’m much happier for letting it go.
FANTASTIC--walking away from being "special"--when everyone looks to you for answers--when you have ALL the power of/for decision-making--can be so difficult--not to mention leaving the "special paycheck" behind...For me, making the decision to leave took courage--and a realization that if I wanted to be "happy," I had no choice but to walk away. But boy...once you get on the other side? It's magic.
yes, exactly this!!
Gasped when I read this: "...there comes a time to decide between being special and being happy." Thank you so much for sharing.
I was really struck by that article too. I’m myself more happy and less special than ever and it’s 96% wonderful. But then there’s the 4% (likely more. I’m trying to impress here) which is my ego knocking on the window outside yelling “what about me!” And telling herself stories of the glory days of book tours and New Yorker Profiles. Her eyes are puffy and her lipstick is a mess and I try and just say “there there…Have some soup and a rest”. And let her in to sleep on the sofa. Then I get on with my life that I love.
I relate to this so much!
This hits right on time. I'm in this odd place where I kind of want to try something new, but I also just want to try new things. Many new things. It's hard to pick a path even for a little while.
I mean the ADHD brain! I want to try new things too but usually it means letting something go, which I usually hate doing
Enjoying your book so much - the narration is amazing in the audio version, you could be a voice actor!
omg thank you!
Such a spot-on topic for this week and life. Ironically, after reading Jenn’s book, I was reading the book ‘Quit’ by Annie Duke and it really dives into the subject of when to walk away.
Really excited to read your book. Themes that I will devour.